Je-zeus loves”Peter”?
(The following commentary is part of a weekly series called “Yahweh Speaks” by Yahweh. Yahweh is an assumed name to protect his identity on-line. He is a noted free thought advocate and Constitutional attorney. His series airs on my American Heathen® internet radio show. Airdate 07/21/12)
A friend of 40 years, who for the purposes of this discussion, we’ll call “Peter” retained me recently to represent him on charges of “public sexual indecency”. “Peter” has been married for 40 years and has several adult children. The evidence, according to the reporting Officer, was that Peter was observed sitting naked on his butt between the open front and back doors of his pick-up truck in a parking lot of a public park. Immediately in front of “Peter” was another naked man with a turgid penis only inches from “Peter’s” face. Since the Officer did not actually observe the turgid penis in “Peter’s” mouth other orifice or hand, and because the Cop observed no actual sexual contact between the two men, I convinced the State that the charge ought be amended to “indecent exposure”.
“Peter” chose to plea “no contest” to the amended charge so that the lurid details would not be aired in open court. “No contest” means one does not admit nor deny the charge, rather one just wants the legal contest to end. That way “Peter” could continue to profess his innocence to his wife, his kids and others proclaiming “the situation was not really what it appeared.”
Some of you may be wondering why this little episode is of import to our usual discussions here.
Now, the rest of the story.
During the course of my representation “Peter” and I had occasion to discuss religion. Rather , I should say “Peter” professed his innocence by prefacing such with the proclamation, “I am a xtian and would not do this.” I said, “have you ever heard the expression ‘Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition?’ “ “Peter” said “no”. I explained that it arose during wartime and meant, “pray all you want but when the enemy is shooting at you and their bullets are sailing right through your prayers, you had better get some ammo and fire back.”. I told “Peter”, “pray all you want, but in this matter I AM your ammunition.” The discussion devolved to him claiming the world is “perfect” and only His jesus could create a “perfect world”, and the Bible is absolutely true. I attempted to rebut those claims with simple facts, but they went right over his head, or through one ear and out the other.
Recently I received the following letter from ‘Peter” (which I quote verbatim and ask you all to read it on the site to see his butchering of grammar and clumsy syntax):
“Everyone has their own beliefs, but as christians, were(sic) supposed to save as many people as we can from hell. The devil made you laugh huh! That’s what wrong with this world.Most people don’t believe in heaven or hell. I consider you a friend, and I don’t want to see suffer in Hell. You showed me what you said about the bible was proven wrong about Joshua and the day the Lord extended a day so he could finish a very important battle.
Scientists today, who don’t believe in God or the Bible wonder what happened to that “lost day”, that was lost in the calendars! I don’t know what you believe, either ‘big boom’—evolution. How can everything in nature be so perfect, if we or it wasn’t created. If we came from monkey’s(sic) . why are there still monkey’s(sic) around!? Even if I didn’t believe in God our creator, it would be easier to believe that than the ‘Big Boom’. Why are we here? Were(sic) the only people, or whatever on any planet! This is the 21st Century, if there were inhabitants of any other planet, wouldn’t we have seen UFOS by now! I mean to have one in our possession. The demon blinds people from reality! Bottom line: If I’m wrong I’ll rot in the grave, like everyone else. If your(sic) wrong, you’ll have a greater, terrible price to pay!!
God bless you, ‘Peter’”
In the margins was the following; “Get off the wide road to destruction and get on the narrow road to God before it’s too late”;and “choose you this day in whom you will serve”; and “why is the world 75% water? maybe the big flood. HUH!”; and “where did the word ‘sodomy’ come from? Sodom and Gemorra(sic) God destroyed these two towns. Proven fact,”; and “Even the Devil believes in God” and on the back of the envelope was “just trying to save you for suffering”.
As is readily ascertainable from his missive, intellectual discourse is of no avail with “Peter”. His understanding of nature, evolution and even his own religion is so palpably inadequate and detached from reality as to admit no reason, just like too many of his brethren~~~ those 21st century xtian historical revisionists continuously seeking to impose their xtian theocracy on everyone.
So, tell me your thoughts about this: I think an appropriate response to “Peter” at an intellectual level he would understand , but would NOT appreciate, might be as follows:
Jesus loves Peter! this he knows,
For the Bible tells him so.
Little cocks to Him belong;
he likes ‘em hard, long and strong.
“Yes, jesus loves cock.
Yes, jesus loves cocksuckers ,
Yes jesus love you,
cause he knows
you’re a lying cocksucker, TOO!”
“But it does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods or no god. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.”
