Dehumanized In The Shadow of Belief
(Editorial Comment from the American Heathen® radio show – Air Date 03/05/10)
Dehumanization… to deprive of human qualities or attributes; divest of individuality
It was 2003 when I freed myself from the shackles of religious belief. It wasn’t a neat and tidy affair. It came with great pain, anguish and despair. But, it also became a paradox as freedom, peace and joy also washed over me. The duality of walking out of one life and into another simultaneously was bittersweet as the results of years of dogma, combined with an ever inquisitive mind laden with reasoned questions, fought for my core. Not surprisingly, reasoned questions and logical answers won. But, sensibility didn’t come without a price. My freedom from religion, as with all freedom, came at a cost. The price I had to pay was steep.
My family has never been a close-knit entity. It is wrought with division, dysfunction and vitriol. In fact, it is light years away from the iconic American mythology of what a family is supposed to be. Torn apart by a divorce in 1974, what was once a faux peace neatly concealed from the children, became a lifetime war of words, accusations, hate, and lies, and the children became the roadkill of rage. And most of it came special delivery from my birth mother. So, when I announced my de-conversion from the Life Saver roll of religious hack – the way I was brought up incidentally – my birth mother immediately bared her fangs and tried to deliver a venomous strike. For some reason she seemed to think I would recoil from her. Instead, I merely sidestepped her attack and ignored her. After the phone call, she disappeared into the din of everyday life, never to be heard from, nor cared about again. Is this part of the price? In some ways , yes. In many more ways, no. She had always been ambivalent toward me. As the oldest of her three sons and a daughter, I was not a concern. She never really gave a shit. To me, this was simply an easy wash. But, there were other family members with whom I’d had a fairly civil relationship over the years. Albeit distant, but civil. These relationships went south fairly quickly and permanently upon my announcement.
Relationships really are at the mercy of freedom from dogma. They bare the brunt of the non-religious view. It seems that once a person discovers the positive aspects of a religion free life and announces it to the world, the audience quickly grows disturbingly quiet. So quiet, in fact, that it is truly deafening. The process of dehumanization of the non-believer begins. And, with each tick of the clock, the believer separates the non-believer from humanity.
My wife and I moved to Oklahoma in 1997. I made a lot of friends quickly. My friends and I had a great deal in common and thought our friendships solid. The fact is that we were living an illusion created by shallowness, faux civility, and masked as brother and sisterhood. Not unlike my caustic family structure, my friendship structure was being eaten away by its own acidic dysfunction. I fretted a great deal over my announcement that I had de-converted from religious belief to non-belief. To make matters worse, I was angry at the world, in general, for misleading me, for conditioning me to believe in the unbelievable, the impossible, the archaic and primitive. People I trusted, blind themselves I would later discover, had stolen my freedom. Anyway… When I made the declaration that I no longer subscribed to a skydaddy, history repeated itself. Just like my family, the facade of peace and harmony shattered into a million pieces, jagged, cutting and painful, then dissolved into the acid it created.
Religion touts itself as a uniting force, capable of bringing together all people. Well, I have news for you. It ain’t true. Indeed, religion does feed the social animal, and following the pack is the name of its game. But, much like lions, tigers and bears, religion is easily provoked into attacking its own over dominance, or anyone who ventures into or out of its territory. And, just like lions, tigers and bears, if woken from its mythological slumber, it will attack quickly and with ferocity. My announcement woke the beast. People I considered friends responded quickly. Most were quick to attack, to judge and condemn… the fundamentalist approach. Others took a more gentile tact, choosing to question gently, then withdraw to the safe haven of prayer and faith that I would one day return… The apologist approach. A very few came forward, joining me in my declaration and assuring me that I had indeed found rational, reasoned thought. In any event, I found that the price of freedom wasn’t cheap. But, then again, was it really all that expensive?
The price I’ve paid is truly bizarre. On one hand, I have lost something that was shallow and trite, but strangely comforting… a delusion, an illusion, a dream like state of hidden toxicity. On the other hand, I found peace and assurance in logic and reason, skepticism and science. But, even though the benefits of these trade-offs are logically positive, the highest price paid is loneliness, isolation, and stigma. The fact that Atheists are considered to be more dangerous to America than terrorism isn’t lost in my mind. We are considered to be a threat to the American way of life by a majority of people according to a Gallup poll taken just after 9/11. No, I understand the hate and fear that permeates the religious mind. Remember, I was once one of them. I do understand. But, what really concerns me is the instant dehumanization of Atheists and the danger that this poses to freedom. If people allow restriction of thought in favor of a prescribed dogma based in myth, what atrocities could they be capable of given the right group of dogmatic, charismatic, religious caricatures? The table is already set for a religious feeding frenzy the likes of which hasn’t been seen since the Inquisition. Indeed, losing friends in favor of freedom of thought and inquiry is simply a painful symptom of something more sinister and painful. Dehumanizing those who don’t follow a particular religious path, one specific to the ruling class, is already happening. And, it’s happening at the same time religion is claiming to love all.
The most painful aspect of gaining freedom is yet to be paid I’m afraid. The path to enlightenment is difficult already, given the terms it must abide. But, when one takes a closer look at the details, the fine print on the financial contract, one has to wonder if human beings are truly destined to repeat vile history ad nausea m. And, it is dehumanization, at the hands of religion, which hides effectively in the fine print of this contract which even the faithful readily ignore in their zeal to close the deal with a myth.
March 6, 2010 at 11:09 am
RJ, I respect your honesty and identify with much of what you’ve written. The road to rationality wasn’t a piece of cake for me either. People in my family only think religious freedom entails freedom for THEM to convert from one form of CHRISTIANITY (catholic) to another (born-again/evangelical christianity), in my opinion – all because of the tendencies toward addictions…
Myself, I tried to cleave closer to my faith as they underwent this conversion but all that just lead to my deeper questioning of my own beliefs. In the end, for me, rational thought wouldn’t allow any other. So needless to say, our family is quite fragmented.
Its ironic how they will believe whatever some charismatic person
sells – as they, themselves are charismatic salespeople in their professional lives.
Living in small(minded)town, Midwest makes it even more difficult. At least my own nuclear family is on the same page. I mean, it isn’t exactly something one wears on one’s sleeve around these parts!!
March 9, 2010 at 3:45 pm
RJ – you’re totally on the mark. I suppose that I’m lucky – in a way – that those family members whose opinion mattered most to me passed on before I’d made the final break from religion. I can imagine how some of them would have reacted, and it’s not a pretty picture.
Even my best friend (a Pagan) responded with a bit of shock when I announced my eventual lack of belief. This is someone who espouses the idea that “it doesn’t matter what you believe as long as you believe in something”. I used to think that, too, until I asked myself why, and couldn’t find an answer. Coming up blank is what put me on the path toward Atheism.
I’ve heard a lot of people throw that phrase around – “as long as you believe in something”. I imagine it relieves them of the responsibility to examine their own beliefs or question why they have them. It justifies and normalizes the denial of logic and reason in favor of superstition. And because so many people seem to hold this general view, those without belief are “not normal”. It’s an easy jump from “not normal” to less-than-human, especially when the person doing the jumping is also sitting on the religious seat of judgment. It’s a frightening, but easy jump.
The sad and ironic truth is that many believers are themselves dehumanized by their beliefs. They trade empathy and compassion in exchange for “moral superiority”. And once a person loses the ability to empathize, s/he has lost the ability, in my opinion, to be human, or to see anyone else as fully human.