“You Talk Too Much”
My wife Sherry and I had a suspicion that her parents had a problem with our Atheism. This wasn’t a surprise to either of us, but since we announced our de-conversion from religious dogma 6 years ago, Sherry’s folks have acted strangely toward me. They rarely call me (maybe once a year and for about 5 minutes), send x-mas gifts to Sherry’s apartment in Kansas (she’s a contract engineer, our home is here in Oklahoma), and email her with updates on family, friends, etc. Apparently I’m the one responsible for her logical, reasoned and scientific thought. Never mind the fact that my wife is a highly educated and experienced Electrical Engineer of 27 years, with a highly inquisitive and skeptical mind. Nope. Forget the fact that my wife was more secular than I was from the time she could read. Nope. I’m the responsible party for her abandonment of jebus and the holy skydaddy. Oh, and forget the fact that Sherry’s parents raised her to be inquisitive, skeptical and scientifically minded. Nope. None of it matters.
Sherry recently received her birthday card in the mail at her apartment. Up until this year, the card would arrive a few days before her birthday here at our Oklahoma home. We own 10 acres, and a little over four years ago we started construction on a beautiful new house. In September of 2006 we moved in. Sherry’s folks know, well, that this is OUR home. Yet, the card didn’t arrive here this year. Needless to say, this really irked Sherry. She was furious with her folks over seeing the card in her mailbox in Kansas. She called me from Kansas to vent, expletives dripping between her words. I told her she needed to calm down and take a breath. I explained to her that she needed to confront her folks about the situation, but in a calm and diplomatic manner. My wife is a wonderfully strong woman. But, she has never been one to confront her parents over anything. Absolutely nothing. Her family history is one of a very domineering father, and a whiny mother. They never discussed issues of any importance or depth, and if there was any tension in the household, it was summarily ignored. Ignorance was bliss. Well, anyway, I told Sherry that I thought she needed to confront her folks. She needed to ask them if they had a problem with our Atheism. Sherry agreed and made a phone call to her parents. She was about to do something remarkable, believe it or not. It would be the first time in her 48 years of life that she actually tried to talk to her folks as an adult.
I received a phone call from my wife about an hour later. She said she was very surprised by her parents reaction to her diplomatic confrontation with them. She said she asked them straight away if they had a problem with us being Atheist. Their reply was “yes”. But, here’s where things get interesting. They also said that I “talked too much” about it. I about fell over in my lounge chair laughing. My in-laws are accusing me of talking too much about Atheism, and I rarely talk with them to begin with? For starters, I DO talk “too much” about it here on my blog, on my radio show, and with some folks that I have daily contact with. In fact, I’ll be the first to admit that I AM PASSIONATE about tearing believers a new asshole when it comes to their skydaddy belief. But, ONLY if they broach the subject FIRST. There are even a few non-believers who prefer to remain wallflowers and “let things be” who I have annoyed from time to time. Hey, someone’s gotta do it! Anyway… The fact is that my in-laws use me as an excuse for their daughter’s lack of belief, choosing to ignore her own independent thought. Sherry saw right through it.
Which brings me to my reason for writing today. There are three reasons why folks “talk too much”. One, they have a personal, selfish agenda. Two, they like to hear themselves talk. And three, they are passionate about a subject that causes them to voice their opinion frequently. I fall into categories two and three, mostly three. Occasionally number two, but only when I have been deprived of human contact for more than two days. But, I digress… One of the greatest “sins” of the believer is the idea that if someone doesn’t agree with them, sees things differently, their opponent needs to shut up. “Children should be seen and not heard” is their mental mantra. Religious folks don’t like criticism. They loathe it. How can anyone challenge my supreme being? To the believer, any questioning of the skydaddy, faith or tradition is a no-no. So, when it comes to a person like me shitting logic, reason and science all over their delusion parade… suddenly I “talk too much”. Well, I’ve got news for you skydaddy loving folks. The reason I “talk too much” is a direct result of the constant, utter saturation and bombardment of religion on daily life. I talk too much? From television, to movies, to radio… from books, magazines, newspapers, the Internet, billboards, corner churches, cemetery’s, crosses on the side of the road (I even saw a tiny one next to roadkill)… the list goes on and on! I TALK TOO MUCH? Please, spare me the side splitting laugh! What’s more, my “talking too much” is in DEFENSE of your right to believe, BUT also challenging you to THINK FOR YOURSELF. I’m not trying to convert you, tell you that I have the perfect solution for death, feeding you full of shit promises of forgiveness and begging you for money so I can continue to mislead you while getting rich and not paying taxes!
If you want to tell me I’m “talking too much”, by all means, go ahead. But your ignorance (remember ignorance is bliss?) will only inspire me. Someone once asked me why I talk about Atheism. It’s simple really. As long as religion keeps talking, I’ll keep talking. As long as religion keeps yelling, I’ll keep yelling. As long as religion keeps lying about freedom and the Constitution, I’ll keep showing religion for what it is… UTTER BULLSHIT. You have the right to believe what you want. But, you don’t have the exclusive right to “talking too much”
July 24, 2009 at 8:13 am
They can dish it out, but they can’t take it. Typical hypocrites.
July 24, 2009 at 12:25 pm
Nice post. I’m having the same problem with my wife’s familly, but she doesn’t see the need to stand up and say something.
August 6, 2009 at 7:38 am
I couldn’t have said it better. I get told to sit down and shut up all of the time… and that *I* should be the “bigger person.” It’s okay though… I don’t mind Christians, as long as they act like Atheists in public.