Jokes of the Christo-Jihadists
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before… it’s a riot!
So it’s the first day of class at PC University and the professor starts off his course in Astronomy with a look at all of the wonderful sights from the Hubble Telescope. And, as was expected, there were a group of Christians that rolled their eyes in disgust at the descriptions of the splendors shown.
The professor knew this was going to happen. It always happens at the start of every semester. He pointed to one of the eye-rollers and asked him what the problem was, and the student stood up and said that while it was all so beautiful, he wondered why there is no talk about the splendor of God in the celestial heavens; because, after all, it was God that made all of these things possible.
The professor said “I’m glad you asked that.” He then asked how many of the students feel the same way, and sure enough about a quarter of the students did. He said he normally gave a politically-correct answer but he was tired of letting the matter set. He was, after all, an atheist, and he refuses to put his beliefs on the back burner just because they “offend” some of the students.
He then proceeds to go into a fifteen-minute lecture about scientific study and scientific method and how science dispels the claims made by Christians about the origins of the universe. He talks about facts and proof and he sums up his lecture by saying that he does not believe in God, and that if God has a problem with that, he should strike the professor down right that minute.
The class is silent for a minute.
Just then the door opens and a Marine shows up in full dress regalia and proceeds to punch out the professor repeatedly. He then grabs the bloody and battered professor by the collar, slaps him back to consciousness, and says to him…
“God couldn’t be here, so he sent me.”
Cue the rimshot.
Aw, come on! That was a joke! Aren’t you laughing? Why aren’t you laughing? Christians get a GREAT laugh out of it, and then they forward it on to every discussion board they take part in and to all of their friends on their mailing lists and recite it verbatim on talk radio! You sure you have a sense of humor?
But wait! There’s a follow-up!
The next day another professor showed up to teach the course, and he explains that he too was an atheist, and that he also was not going to knuckle under because his views “offend” the Christians. He then also openly challenges God to come down and strike him down.
Again the room was silent for a minute.
Then the Marine shows up again in his regalia and makes a beeline to the professor. Suddenly there is a loud pop and a surge of electricity, and the Marine falls to the ground.
The substitute professor stood there with a taser in his hand.
“My challenge was to GOD,” the learned man said loudly, as he reached for his cellphone to dial 9-1-1, “not to some neo-con asshole that can’t tell the difference!”
Now I’m sure THAT got a few smiles from the audience.
The problem, of course, is that the first part of that “joke” is not a joke, and it’s being spread to others.
But let’s go ahead and change things up a bit. What if it was a CHRISTIAN professor making the challenge, and instead of a Marine, a member of Hamas came in and beat up the professor? Suddenly it’s not so funny, is it? Oh, I’m sure it would be a riot over in the Middle East, but probably not on conservative talk radio in the US of A.
Oh but why not? It’s got the same elements! The same characters and the same punchline, only the beliefs have been changed.
Well it’s not funny because now it’s talking about someone ELSE’S beliefs.
And this is usually the part of the discussion when the self-righteous get on their high horse and they admit that it’s really not that funny and that maybe they should start practicing what they preach.
Maybe.
Maybe if they’re reminded of it as they lay on their deathbed, they MIGHT regret it.
But not right now.
And they certainly won’t stop laughing at that first joke, and they won’t stop passing it on to their friends and relatives and mailing lists and using it as a bumper for talk radio. It’s just too FUNNY for them to not do that!
It all starts with a joke. A funny line, a whimsical comment, a little slur amongst friends. A little dig that suggests that it’s okay to commit violence against someone of different beliefs. A little message disguised as comedy to suggest that you don’t have to be tolerant of other beliefs anymore… that yours are better, and if they aren’t, then a little force will make it so.
And then it’s passed on to others, and they pass it on to others… and so on and so forth… condoning violence against those whose views are not the same as ours.
And then people are surprised when the jokes turn to violence. When the punchline becomes the headline. Death threats, arson, assaults… even murder. And the self-righteous get indignant about it and say “Well the people who did that were not TRUE believers! OUR FAITH doesn’t condone that!”
And yet in all likelihood, THEY DID condone it. Because once upon a time they heard a joke, and they passed it around because they thought it was funny to bash a view that is not their own. And all the while they condoned the message that was contained inside. The message that said it was okay to inflict violence in the name of what they believe in. And it was condoned and approved with a rimshot.
The next time someone sends you that joke, send it back with the word “Terrorist” in place of “Marine” and ask them if they think it’s still funny. They’ll probably say that it isn’t, which is when you can point out that neither is violence in the name of religion.
