Deep in the bowels of Oklahoma (the State Legislature) yet more religious dung is piling up. HB1674 has made its way through the colon (the House of Representatives) on a 79 – 6 vote and is headed for the rectum (the State Senate). According to the National Center for Science Education the bill would “require state and local educational authorities to “assist teachers to find more effective ways to present the science curriculum where it addresses scientific controversies” and permit teachers to “help students understand, analyze, critique, and review in an objective manner the scientific strengths and scientific weaknesses of existing scientific theories pertinent to the course being taught,” prohibiting administrators from interfering. As introduced (PDF) in February 2013, the bill specifically mentioned “biological evolution, the chemical origins of life, global warming, and human cloning” as subjects which “some teachers may be unsure” about how to teach. Later, in February 2014, Gus Blackwell (R-District 61), a sponsor of HB 1674 along with Sally Kern (R-District 81), Arthur Hulbert (R-District 14), and Josh Brecheen in the Senate (R-District 61), amended the bill to omit the specific details.”
There’s no doubt that Jesus revolves around Oklahoma. You can see the dead Jew in orbit, day and night, from all corners of the State. So, it stands to reason that Oklahoma can’t resist an opportunity to shit all over science, especially science that threatens to undermine their delusional indoctrination of the State’s future young warriors for christ. But, they’re not alone in this shit fest. Following the defeat of Intelligent Design in the Dover, PA case in 2005, and the 139 page smack-across-the-face by Judge John E. Jones III (a Republican), creationists have re-emerged like pustules inside the rectums of Republican controlled legislatures around the country. Their goal is to play on public and media ignorance about matters of science by using the shrill, obnoxiously loud voices of global climate change deniers, anti-abortion zealots, and creationists, as cover for their unscientific, despicable agenda. They want to create “controversy” where there is none. And, they want to “teach” these manufactured controversies by eliminating administrative oversight. How nice and tidy, and absolutely fiendish is that?
I propose a nice and tidy, and absolutely fiendish plan of my own to counter these “Teach the Controversy” bills. I suggest we lobby our State Representatives for our own “Teach the Controversy” bills. What controversy? That gods, saviors, angels, demons, all things supernatural, are rightly and hotly contested by science, atheists, skeptics, politicians, and even clergy. Our “Teach the Controversy” bills would require all churches allow the teaching of our “controversy” in Sunday schools, private schools, and even in the homes of home schooled students. It’s only fair, right?
But, it won’t happen. Religion – in particular the christian religion – has been afforded special rights in the United States. To a large degree christianity has been given unprecedented access to the public square without regulation. Exempt from taxation, considered to be pious, honorable, admirable, noble, righteous, exceptional, the one and only true religion of the good ol’ U.S. of A., christianity is the king of the blood red hill. “God Bless America!” “Jesus was a white, southern redneck!” “God, Guns and Glory in the name of Jesus!” The collective mentality of christian America has all but asphyxiated true religious freedom. Any attempt to circumvent their goal of dominion will be met with cries of persecution, vitriolic animosity, and as we’ve seen throughout history, even violence.
Special rights afforded to christianity are out of control, and will continue to multiply like hemorrhoids after drinking a gallon of lard and singing “America the Beautiful” while shoving jalapenos deep up the ass. Jesus is orbiting Oklahoma. Soon, Jesus will be orbiting America. More spaced-out junk.